You have heard the story once before, but times change, especially when the time is a different time completely. The Addaline we knew in days past is gone, having given her life to save her true love in the past, so that her younger self could live a life with him. That past Addaline did just that.
This Addaline, however, has a completely different adventure in store…
Addaline stood at the base of the mountain, staring up at the peaks high above. “I’m never gonna make it, Joe. This is perhaps the worst way to spend a Monday morning.”
“Come on, now, Addaline. You’ve got to at least try,” Joe replied with a smile. “It’ll be fun. More fun than going to work for sure.”
“Of course, you would say that,” Addaline rolled her eyes, “Can we just stop to eat at least?”
“Maybe later,” Joe replied.
“Fine,” said Addaline, “let’s go.”
They set out up the mountain, following the trail as best they could through the forest.
Halfway up, they found a cave. “Cool!” said Addaline. “What’s in there?”
Joe looked in. “I have never seen this before.” He said. “But you know what they say, if you never try, you’ll never know.”
“Agreed.” Addaline replied and they walked into the cave. “Huh” said Addaline. Inside of the cave was a portal “Let’s go,” she grinned, feeling a sense of exploration.
They leapt through the portal and lights flashed all around them.
The world didn’t look like it had a few seconds before. It was filled with cheese, or so Addaline thought. Suddenly nothing was as it seemed. Lights began flashing all around her again, and darkness fell.
Then suddenly the lights came back on and they were on a different planet. Then it suddenly got freezing cold, then hot. They thought it was Neptune and the sun combined, but then a pugicorn showed up, which is a pug mixed with a unicorn (not a misspelling).
Finally, they settled in Canada, with the pug/unicorn hybrid at their side. Addaline didn’t know how it all happened, but Joe didn’t seem to care.
“Where are we?” Addaline asked bewildered.
“Some place between total confusion and utter disbelief I suppose,” said Joe.
“Yes, that completely explains our situation, thank you for enlightening me,” Addaline quipped.
“Well, what do you expect from me? I was thrown into the portal the same way you were, it’s not like I had some slowed down version of the journey, for better understanding,” Joe retorted.
“Let’s explore a little,” said Addaline. “I want to get a layout of the place.”
Fog surrounded them. Faintly, through the cloak of darkness, they could see bright lights flickering from a distance, clouded by the fog. Dew covered the grass beneath them. “Good luck with that in this darkness and fog,” Joe muttered beneath his breath.
“Well, we can at least give it a shot,” Addaline replied.
“A shot? How are you always so optimistic? I just don’t understand it,” Joe sighed as they began wandering through the fog.
After walking through the fog, Joe and Addaline, and the pugicorn found a doorway. It had an old, cobwebby door, splintered wood, rusted ironwork hinges, and an air of mystery surrounding it, causing them to shiver in anticipation. Jason is in the story. Caleb is in the story. They ran through the fog as Addaline and Joe approached the door carefully.
Suddenly, a board broke beneath them and Joe tumbled into the blackness below.
With a crash Joe landed in the blackness and with a groan he sat up. His heart skipped a beat as he heard a growl behind him and turned to see to glowing eyes staring at him.
It took everything left in him to stand up. As he was struggling to stand, he then realized he had broken his left leg. He heard the growling again, but was unable to move.
“Oh no! Looks like you must have broken your leg!” Addaline cried from the doorway above. She whipped out her new iPhone XR and dialed 911.
The dispatcher answered saying: “What is your emergency?”
“I broke my leg! Or rather, my friend broke his leg!” Addaline cried. “I’m kinda done with this hiking thing,” Addaline continued to Joe, “…Bye”
“No wait you can’t go,” Joe exclaimed. “My leg’s broken and I can’t walk! We need a helicopter! For real, for real! Will you come with me please, I need help! I’m bleeding to death, I’m gonna die!” Joe cried.
“FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Yelled Addaline “Only if I get to ride in the helicopter!”
“No ‘cause my legs gonna need the room! I’ll push you out of the helicopter!” Joe replied.
“Go live off the land and forage for food! Bye! Biscuit! Gonna go meet up with my gang. And drink some juice! It’s healthy!” Addaline turned to leave.
“Wait,” Joe called. “I don’t like healthy food…”
“You gotta learn how to,” Addaline replied.
“But…I…I need help,” Joe pleaded.
“For food? You need help finding food?” she asked.
“Please don’t leave me here alone Addaline! I can’t survive by myself,” Joe cried. “My leg is broken.”
“Let me ride on the helicopter, deal?” Addaline replied.
“Or we could just hike down together like the good old days?” Joe asked.
“Your leg is broken! You can’t walk! How will you hike?” Addaline replied.
“Uh…I don’t know,” Joe admitted, shrugging.
Addaline groaned while running her hand through her long, blond hair. “This is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go hiking with you.”
“Wait, where’s the growling monster?” Joe asked, suddenly afraid and restless.
“What monster?” Addaline’s eyes widened.
Suddenly a wolf lunged at them, growling, slashing, and foaming at the mouth.
With eyes flashing, it attacked Joe and tore into his left hip and upper left leg.
Joe to staggered from the overwhelming pain.
Addaline froze, wide eyed the wolf dashed off into the woods with a howl. The howl was made by a chorus of many others as the pack replied.
With a flash, a shining portal appeared, from it, Joe and Addaline heard a kid howling like a wolf. Howling in reply, the rest of the wolves rushed through the portal and vanished.
“Our circumstances do not define our being, but do provide assistance in shaping who we become,” Addaline muttered.
They came out of the portal into an open grass space. The atmosphere was tinted yellow.
They looked down at their injuries, to then looked up, and saw two moons and stars out in the daylight. “Wait!” Addaline whispered, “I know why the moons and stars are visible. This would usually be night…but something terrible is happening, and so it is as bright as day.
“How could this happen?” whispered Joe, staring at the strange sight in awe.
Suddenly remembering his injuries, Joe pulled out his emergency first aid kit.
“We need to get you to a medical center.” cried Addaline in panic.
“I love you!” yelled Joe as he passed into unconscious.
He lay down on the ground and his pack fell open. A piece of half eaten beef jerky fell out.
“That must have led the wolves right to us,” said Addaline.
Then they all started to suffer from the black plague and died a painful and horrible hardcore death…
But they didn’t. They were going to the homeschool convention in Richmond and the Lord spared them, so they could go and be a blessing to many. The Lord does great things
Caleb is my annoying and kind of awesome brother.
But this story is about Addaline and Joe…as they find themselves stuck on a desert planet with two moons, and apparently only two stars.
“This place is odd,” Addaline said as she looked around, the plague having subsided.
Joe woke up from his unconsciousness. “Very…”
Just as they were about to relax, strange people, in weird cloths, showed up, speaking a weird language.
“Let me go!” Joe screamed; his arms tied behind him. The person nearest to him slapped him. The message was clear: Be quiet or die.
The strange people gagged him with a ripped cloth and Addaline screamed for them to stop. The strange people walked up to her and looked deep into her eyes. They seemed to be analyzing her, sensing for any fear.
Then they died.
Wait. Wait. What? It can’t end yet!
Anyways…they didn’t die literally. But metaphorically. The fear brought by the stranger made Addaline feel like she’d died inside.
She slapped the stranger. “Leave us alone!” she cried.
The stranger’s face contorted. “Why should I?” he spoke their language perfectly.
Joe rolled his eyes. “Isn’t stranger danger enough of a reason?”
They jumped off the planet into another portal…right after they stole the strangers money because they needed it to get off the strange world.
But then Caleb told a yo mamma joke and everyone felt better. “Yo mama’s so stupid, she was yelling into the mailbox. We asked her what she was doing and she said she was sending voice mail.”
After the joke was told, everyone felt better, except for the stranger and thought it was too much like a blonde joke, therefore he kidnapped both Joe and Addaline and ran through another portal, bringing them back to where they started…back to the mountain they hoped to hike.
As they approached the mountain, suddenly a herd of miniature mountain goats and a sheep attacked them. They tried to run, but the goats were faster than them and they died. Fortunately, they had died of cardiac arrest, so a good Samaritan came by and gave them CPR. She was a nurse named Emmalyn Fry, and she did such a good job, that she didn’t break their ribs in the process. They got up and made a bucket list so that they would know what to do before somebody else killed them. Again.
As the stranger brought them to the top of the mountain he pulled back his hood and revealed himself to be prince charming who they had known so long ago. “Hello Addaline. It’s nice to see you again.”
Addaline furrowed her brow. “Who are you?”
“Of course you wouldn’t remember…timeline differences. I see you’re blonde now.” The stranger replied.
“Exscuse me?” Addaline gaped.
“In the other world you know me as the great and powerful wizard but of course you wouldn’t remember that either due to the amnesia…” he put a thoughtful finger to his lips.
“I can’t stand you outragous words of wisdom,” Jimmy exclamed.
Addaline turned. “Who are you?”
“Jimmy…the name’s Jimmy,” Jimmy replied.
“He’s my assistant,” the stranger said to Addaline. Then… THEY LIVED!
THEY BECAME IMMORTAL
Or did they?
They were in a constant state of confusion.
Why were they in constant confusion no one knows.
Addaline finally spoke up again. “So…who are you?”
“I am nothing,” the stranger replied.
“Or is he nothing?” asked Jimmy.
Addaline rolled her eyes at Jimmy and said, “Nah, he’s more of a something.”
And a ninja gang abruptly dropped through the roof.
Little did they know it was not a ninja gang it was the FBI.
They yelled, “FBI, OPEN UP!” And they all died with the lovely sheep.
They weren’t really the FBI though. They were just pretending to be the FBI. They were actually spies. The spies were there to talk about cheese because they couldn’t tell the truth as to why they were there (they were there to steal all the diamonds that were in the vault of Thalasso, an underwater hold carrying the most valuable treasures of the deep. As you have probably guessed, they were horribly off course…hiking had not gone as planned.)
Addaline sat on top of a rock, weary from the shenanigans that had ensued. The ground dropped from underneath her and sent her spiraling down an ancient stone slide. At this point Addaline stopped caring what happened next and decided to just have fun. Then she ran into the woods, and fed the bears
Then they died and never came back.
But in a much more real sense, she died on the inside when the bears ran away.
She mourned for their company as she drank orange juice…
The *OJ* was sweet and fresh, and really hit the spot.
Addaline finally returned to Joe and let out a long sigh. “Sorry I was gone so long…”
“It’s all good,” Joe replied. “I was only alone…with a wizard, and a broken leg. And a broken nose, foot, arm, hand, fingers (yep all ten of ‘em), face, and ribs. But I heal fast…so yeah what have you been doing?”
Addaline was wasn’t shocked he broke so many body parts, because he was so naturally clumsy. “Oh nothing. How was your time with the wizard?” She asked.
“Oof, that’s a hard one. You might want to ask him yourself.” Replied Joe
Then out from the gloom came a small man dressed in gold and covered in red scarves, holding a massive ten-foot staff; previously owned by Gandalf.
“The wizard…or the stranger. Depending on how you know him, has gone away to meet with another,” the small man yelled. “Now off yee go before I…”
The staff was too tall for the man, and it fell over like a sequoia and squished him flat as an acorn pancake.
But as you know, acorn pancakes are amazing! Frost giants love them! So much so that they traveled through the Bifrost all the way to Midguard to consume them.
However, the portal never opened up properly, and the universe seemed to warp and change as Joe and Addaline reappeared at the base of the mountain where they started. They never saw the giants.
Addaline let out a long sigh as she stared up, spotting the cave where they found the first portal. “You know…maybe hiking wasn’t the best idea.”
Joe nodded. “Yeah…”
Addaline drew in a deep breath. “It’s like…it was all a dream.”
Joe looked down at his watch. 7am…Tuesday. “I’m not so sure it was.”
“Whatever the case,” Addaline shoved her hands into her pockets. “It’s over now.”
“You want to get some ice cream?” Joe asked.
Addaline didn’t reply. She simply got back into the car and the two of them drove off into the sunset to find an ice cream shop.
Little did they know, that far across the cosmos, the stranger lowered himself onto a dark throne.
“We tried and failed, sir,” Jimmy said as the small acorn man appeared behind him out of a portal.
“Shall we try once more?” the small acorn man asked.
“How can we?” Jimmy asked. “We can’t just keep moving timelines and ripping through space.”
The stranger leaned back in his chair and stared across the stars. “We failed to remove both Phin and Joe…perhaps it’s time we target Addaline herself.”
“Sir?” Jimmy asked.
“We’ve been doing it all wrong,” the stranger spoke with a chuckle. “No more magic, no more tricks…find another Addaline and forget her friends. She’s the one we need.”
And so they searched for another Addaline – one that would finally agree to the cause. The stranger had failed twice…and he’d fail a thousand more times if it were needed.
For the cause.
For this Addaline, however, her story ended. She and Joe sat together in the ice cream shop, forgetting the adventures through the portals. All that mattered was they survived, and no one died…well, sort of…no one stayed dead.
And no other line need be added but this:
They lived happily ever after…
I want to thank everyone who added to this story. It was a pleasure meeting all of you!
C. D. Hulen